Dear Mr. Paul, my condolences and my thanks.

 

Mr. Paul,
I was really sad to hear of your death Thursday. I wish it didn’t have to be you. I’m sure, though, that you don’t mind. I never knew you and to be honest I wasn’t familiar with your music but it still hurt to hear about it.

I loved your guitars. They were my favorite. I loved they way they looked and felt. I would always slide my hand across the gloss, tracing that big round curve. I also cradled that bottom point thing, whatever it was called. Holding it close to me, I was in love.

I especially liked the way they sounded, rich and saturated. You could make that rig do just about anything. I’ve felt tones, bassy tones, deep inside that once made me want to riot. I’ve also heard music played from it that literally made me cry, like right now and how I want to cry.

But I don’t. I don’t know why, really. I feel a tinge of guilt for not knowing your music better. That’s something that I will have to work on in the future. Till then I’ll just have to enjoy what you gave me. I’ll think of you when I play. I’ll hold the neck in my hand, firmly. I’ll caress the strings, my old rusted strings. I’ll look up and down the beautiful worn body and play a chord, just for you.

Love always,

-



Photo from Time

Marrige for the Future

This last weekend I had the pleasure of witnessing a family member of mine participate in one of the oldest of our social customs, the institution of the highest order: Holy Matrimony. I was grateful for the chance to go and it was really great to see her and her fiancé get married. It was a beautiful service filled with all the familial love and awkward tradition that two young people could ask for. I have always felt that they were a fine couple and I know that their lives will be filled with as much love as they deserve. But whatever pre or post nuptial bliss that existed or will exist between the two of them is little of concern to me. It’s not that I don’t care about them because I do, very much so, and neither do I think that they won’t be happy. On the contrary, I believe the exact opposite that happiness is their highest priority. What brings me the most pleasure in this union is finally at long last having a fellow guy at the dinner table at future family get-togethers. I’ll toast to that!

More to come...

My life is now nearly complete

If you were able to sit next to me right now you would notice one thing, just how big a grin I have on my face. I was just able to see one of my favorite broadcasts, This American Life, preformed live for a nationwide audience. After about a month and a half wait for this I want to say that Ira Glass ‘n crew did not disappoint; it was phenomenal!

I’ve been a keen fan of the show for many years now. I still remember tuning into my public radio station to stumble across the show for the first time. It was the famous episode titled “Act V” where they documented death row inmates that performed Shakespeare’s Hamlet one act at a time. Essentially it was what we can learn from a play about murder done by individuals that knew the subject firsthand. I was captivated instantly. I listened intently all the way home and sat in my car until the show had to stop for a quick station break. I literally rushed into my house screaming to my family, “You gotta listen to this! You gotta listen to this!” I turned on the radio and sat down and listened to the rest of the show.

At the time I had never heard anything like this and when I think about it, I still haven’t heard anything since that is quite like it. From that fateful night I became an avid listener, devouring show after show, looking forward to it week after week. I often told friends about it and I always described it as being an “audio documentary”. For those completely unfamiliar with This American Life it is a public radio broadcast hosted by Ira Glass. Each episode has a theme with stories supporting that theme. The stories, done in “acts” are provided by many contributing writers and range from the quirky, hilarious, disturbing, ironic, and touching. The episodes are colored with various types of music to fit the mood and have interviews of people from all walks of life; it is totally engrossing. With this understanding it’s fair to say that you know how much I was really looking forward to this show, it was literally the highlight of my month.

I must say what a top notch performance the This American Life crew has done to produce this. Every facet of the show was amazing. Those that arrived early were treated with the credits intermingled with witty word play games of hangman, fill in the blank and word mix up. The animation was creative as well as the word play itself. I may have to invent the award for “Best Opening Credit Sequence” just so I can award it to them.

The rest of the show went just as stellar. Fans were finally able to see how Ira Glass does the show. His large desk adorned with audio equipment, he dramatically cues in each sequence and, almost diabolically, dials in the levels while adding the scripted commentary. It was much more complicated than I had imagined and gave me the feeling more of a dance hall DJ than a quiet radio host.

The theme of tonight’s show was Return to the Scene of the Crime and it was in five acts. Act one was by Mike Birbiglia about marriage and a certain, very unfortunate car wreck. Act two was an extremely surrealistic animated short by Chris Ware with music by Andrew Bird. In Act three Starlee Kine told us her experiences at a therapeutic retreat center. Act four was provided by Dan Savage, a story about losing his religion as well as his mother. And in act five Joss Whedon wrapped us up with a piece from his musical “Dr. Horrible’s Sing-Along Blog.”

I found all the stories richly entertaining and they were even more intimate than on the radio. This is a give in knowing that you can actually see what’s going on this time. But because it was a live show it had that great unpredictability. Whether it was Ira’s unscripted banter or how some of the speakers stumbled over their words; it was all great. What made a deep impression on me was the story of his mother by Dan Savage. He became emotional several times as he told of her death, it was particularly moving.

It was hard for me to have the end come so soon. I could have had it last for hours on end; I’m that dedicated a fan. I say so soon like it was short but clocking in at around an hour and a half made for a hearty show. I don’t know what the industry has as far as awards go for things quite like this but I think this episode deserves one. By far this is one of their best and it is deserving of the credit.

Now after exhausting every adjective for the word “good” that I know of I will close this review by saying again how truly amazing this performance was. It was two thumbs up for sure.

P.S. If anyone reading this that is affiliated with This American Life or Chicago Public Radio in the very least, I want to let you know that my life may never be complete till you release a DVD of this night’s showing. Pass the word, thanks.

I'm back/things I just discovered.

As I look at this thing I just realized that it's nearly been half a year since I have made a post. That's pretty embarrassing I have to say. I'm not embarrassed for keeping faithful readers at bay because it's not like anybody reads this anyway. I guess it's more of a feeling of loss at all the things that have happened in the past six months that would have been good to write about.

I've always been prone to do that. Get into writing, write a lot and then all of a sudden stop. Maybe it can be fixed later on in life. That is precisely what has happened this time. I hit a wall really, and I just haven't felt the same since. That's not vary important right now.

I'm just going to get it out, I just discovered that my best friend from elementary school is dating my high school crush. It feels very hollow to know this. I don't know what it means to me. The only thing that I can find that's certain is how truly ironic is that two different people that were close to me at very different times in my life are now in a relationship.

They say that it's a very small world and in some ways it is. What I think is that we just have very small lives.

John McCain in a new light

First it was that I didn't like the man, but then I grew to tolerate him. However it's only very recently that I've gained a new found respect for him and what he is capable of. The man? It's none other than John McCain. Those that really know me should be surprised at that statement and, to be honest, I am surprised myself that I would say I feel he would make a good president.

It is true that I haven't been the fondest of McCain. When the race between him and Obama were in it's earliest stages there was something that lingered about, something that I couldn't put my finger on that shadowed his character. Much of it was that he was coined as being the "Maverick", toeing the party line often. I am all for that maverick nature and not letting established barriers limit you, when it is called for that is. To me, in politics, it would seem like having that reputation would work against you, making you seem too shifty or weak. If you really want to be a maverick in Washington you don't jump the fence to make friends on the other side, you run to the place where no one is at and where no one seemingly wants to go, because that is the place where real change happens.

Still I remember myself saying "I could never vote for McCain." My reservations were still out on Barack Obama though. He seemed like a decent man, and he did capture that youthful fire. I won't deny that he has a talent for inspiration and he does make a great orator. I really wanted to believe that he was for change however I retained a speck of skepticism. I'm cautious of those "political evangelists" who's power is in words alone. I even thought about voting for Hillary Clinton. I saw her speak and she was very inspirational as well.

I soon came too and realized that I could never vote for her and the more I learned about Barack Obama the more I didn't want him in high office. I originally was a Ron Paul supporter unfortunately he didn't get the press to go as far in the election as I would like so I resigned myself to the fact that I probably wasn't going to vote in the Presidential Election. That is until there were some changes made.

The first was the employment of Sarah Palin as the vice-presidential hopeful for the GOP. She was a definite breath of fresh air when she came on the scene. I loved her optimism and that she was a true Washington outsider. When I saw her first major speech I felt like she could really make a difference.

The next change was truly unexpected. It is the suspension of his campaign by John McCain to go back to Washington as a Senator to assist in the current scramble to fix the economic meltdown. Surprising as it was I knew that this was a wise decision. He is still an elected official and he is still working for the people of Arizona. Therefore he has a responsibility to them and to us to continue his duties as such. Why this made such a great impression on me goes back to the widely used axiom that actions speak louder than words. And this decision was steeped in action.

The first action was showing that he has the ability of standing up, going to work and getting his hands dirty. I don't think we see enough of this. It seems, too often at times, that we have a "sidelines government", One that is caught just standing around. More precisely they are a reactive government, very rarely a proactive one. This financial debacle has shown that. However it's good to see someone get off those sidelines and on to the field. McCain believes that this problem is bigger than him and it may be even bigger than the election itself because it may determine the well being of our country. He knows that it has to be solved no matter what even if his campaign may suffer in the short term. What is that compared to the security of our nation? Nothing really. I admire him greatly for taking this stand.

What he showed is that doing is greater than talking. Talk is dead, we are way past deliberation. Now is the time to act, to do, to accomplish. We all know we have a problem, what we need is a drive for a solution, something to keep the train from barreling off the cliff.

This is action personified not, ironically, action that is talked about which is all we've come to expect from Presidential candidates in the past. This has caused me to view McCain in a different light. The action that McCain took has caused me to respect him more than I have ever in this election. Unfortunately we haven't seen such action from Obama.

I watched his statement and was furious. His common theme's in it were 1) we have a problem 2) we need to fix it and 3) the parties need to come together to solve it. This is obvious. His idea was to come up with a joint statement between McCain and himself about the financial crisis. Is this not more talk? This is the very kind of thing that we need less of. I then watched all the criticisms of McCain's suspension. Pundits called it a political stunt, a "hail mary" attempt to grab more points at the polls. I think people are confused in seeing a politician rushing to do a job, a sight rarely seen, and they don't really know what to make of it.

John McCain is far from perfect, were not going to get a perfect candidate, not now at least. What we can have is something that is better than what we have now. I don't think that Barack Obama can bring that but what McCain has shown me is that he has the potential to be the one that can.

Confessions of a book whore

I am a whore. I am a repulsive, dirty, filthy, sneaky, smutty whore. I sell myself for pleasures untold and pleasures told. I am owned by many and loved by none. I am thoroughly shameless which could be my greatest shame of all. I am a whore of books, a book whore. I am a bibliophile, an obsessively compulsive, mega maniacal collector of all things paper. They say that admittance is the first step to recovery, so here we go.

I just can't stop buying books. It's getting to be a big problem. We'll in this stage of my addiction I would have to say that the only real problem that I face is that I don't have a big enough bookshelf to keep all the volumes that I own. Sometimes I often dream of the bookshelf that I will have; the perfect bookshelf. It would stretch from wall to wall in my living room, ceiling to floor, unobstructed. No TV would have the power to stand in front of this massive monolith of words. Friends and family would quiver beneath its shadow. They would stand in awe of my collection unable to know what to say first, all the while I would calmly and causally say in my most cavalier of voice, "Oh yes, this is my bookshelf. I had to have it custom made. It's from upstate New York. Would anyone care for a hors d'oeuvre?" They would all be powerless against my assumed opinions assuming, of course, that I got them from all the books I read. Pretension would be my sword and I would wield it well. Pulling a rare tome from the shelf as if I were young Arthur drawing Excalibur from the mythic stone, I would read and lay waste to anyone that dared to oppose me.

And then the debate would ensue causing voices to elevate, feelings to get bruised and carne apache to go flying across the room. I'm sure a situation like that is way over the top and could get out of hand pretty easily, but in reality I would pass. What I'm really saying is that I would love to just flaunt my collection at any chance possible, as well as my knowledge about the books I have, providing that I have read them.

But that therein lays the problem. Many of the books that I do own are not currently read. They have been multiplying like rabbits in my room. I have so many "next books" standing in line it's really hard to decide to where to start. There is only so many hours in the day and as much as I hate to admit it, you can only devote a small portion to reading. Still, I will buy a book knowing full well that the likelihood of it getting read is slim, at least in the near future that is. With each book that I take home those chances are pushed farther and farther. As I peruse the thrift store shelves and find and interesting book, simply the thought of reading it makes me desire it. I want to know exactly what is contained within its pages. I will hold it in my hand and flip through it. If it has a cover I'll look at the inside flap or the first page to see what the book is all about. Sometimes if I'm really on the fence I'll just walk around the store with it trying to determine if it's a book I could live with, or live without. Could it be, I ask, if this book in my hands could change my life if only I would let it? If the curiosity is strong enough I will stick it under my arm, claiming it as mine.

However, thinking about this is almost depressing. What kind of fate have I really saved this book from? Instead of being read it's doomed to continue to wait, just on a different shelf in a far less accommodating situation (sitting beside the very loud Black Hawk Down or even worse, the bloodied antisocial, Fight Club. But hey, I do have Stargirl and she is pretty cute maybe it could sit next to her). Will this change my buying habits? Heck no, but it may give me just a little more buyers guilt which is just what I need more of.

Yesterday I had some amazing finds. I bought The Jordan Rules by Sam Smith, a book about Michael Jordan. He is my favorite athlete, I would have to say, but the sole reason I bought it was to have my name blazon in bold print on the hardcover spine as it sits in a prominent spot on my shelf (this one would be eye-level to certain relatives). Also on the list was a Faulkner book with a totally rad title and a very large book of English and American verse. It contained all the greats: Keats, Dickenson, Whitman, Elliot. Really, how could you pass this one up? I'm a bit ashamed to tell what my next pick was so I will just skip to my favorite of the bunch, Nick Hornby's Long Way Down, in hardcover nonetheless. I recently finished High Fidelity which I felt was an outstanding book from and equally great author. It was also purchased from a local thrift store. I can't wait to start this one...eventually.

What made me the most excited of all was that today I was able to complete my collection of the Bourne Series books by Robert Ludlum with the elusive Bourne Supremacy! This feat took about two years of scouring meticulously through dirty thrift shops in more than one state. I find this no short of amazing. I made it a personal quest to get the trilogy directly from thrift stores, partly out of principle and the other part out of book hunter bragging rights. There's nothing more gratifying than completing a book series that was completely second hand. (I've found the entire Asia series by James Clavell in this way as well.) I'm sure twentysomething’s years from now will be doing this with the Harry Potter books or maybe even the Twilight Series.

I also like to get books just for their title. Along with the Bourne Supremacy I found this odd hardcover with the title Pistols for Two. Can this not be the single coolest title for a book ever? Great names like Gone with the Wind, The Grapes of Wrath, and The Fountainhead all pale in comparison to Freakin' Pistols for Two!

So what, then, is the point to all of this collecting? I don't know, we all need a hobby and I guess this is mine. Reading for me is special. There is power in words. Ancient civilizations were built on the written word; people have been inspired to a greater cause because of another’s words and hey, at the end of the day books make a great form of entertainment. Do I have a problem? Maybe I do and maybe I don't. According to the addiction recovery model the second step toward recovery is to believe that a power greater than ourselves can restore us to our sanity. I refuse to believe that I am insane so maybe I'm back at square one after all.

hey